Letter From Caitlin:
Growing up in a loving Christian home and at a Christian church, attending a Christian school, having Christian friends, and being spoon-fed the purity stuff my whole life, I never dreamed I’d be writing these three words prior to my wedding night: I had sex.
For years I had read the books, listened to the talks, drilled it into my mind deeply and forcefully: Whatever you do, don’t have sex before you’re married. To me, that was the worst sin a Christian could commit. But when I left high school and my life started spinning out of control, I began slowly chiseling away at what I thought of as my rock-solid virtue. In the span of a few months my parents went through a messy divorce; my mom left my father, taking my three sisters and me to live in Arkansas, where she started a whole new life; my boyfriend of a year left me—for a man. If everyone was going to betray me like this, I figured I could give myself room for a little modification of the “Christian rules,” too.
And then I met Brady—at church. “That was safe, right? After all, my motto had always been, “As long as the guy is a Christian, go for it.” So we started to spend time together. At the beginning of our relationship, being with Brady made all the heaviness of life seem lighter.
Though we met a church, I quickly discovered that Brady and I shared no spiritual bond. Our relationship was Christian only in name. And there was little emotional attraction—we disagreed and competed constantly. But my hurting, nineteen-year-old self, hungry for intimacy and love, did began to experience a intense sexual attraction to this man. My mind felt as if it were on fire.
Brady became my “first” of a lot of things I never thought I would do before I got married. At least it’s not sex, I rationalized. It could be worse. Slowly, I chiseled away at the rules.
On June 13, neither pressured nor intoxicated, I slept with Brady. I really wanted to have sex with him, so I did. Sounds simply for something that has made my life so incredibly convoluted.
I regretted it right away, but I convinced myself we were in love. I thought I would marry him. At least if I married him we’d be each other’s “only one.” Things wouldn’t be that bad. We’ would have made a mistake, but it was one that cod be redeemed by our everlasting commitment.
For a while, this justification pacified my guilt. Then we started planning our day around having sex. You sort of have to stop calling something a mistake when it happens over and over again, intentionally.
I loved being able to please Brady. If I fulfilled a desire of his, I felt valued. If I could offer him something he wanted, I felt needed. A relationship that I now realize should have lasted only a few months dragged on for two years. Two long, depressing, self-defeating years through which one thing kept us together—sex. This thought tethered me to Brady: I have to marry him; he has to be the only person I’ve been with.
Everyone else questioned my attachment to Brady. I suppose they could see it for the destructive force all the time. But he was always there. The comfort and security of having someone seemed better than the loneliness of being on my own.
Brady broke up with me on January 26. I thought my life had ended. Breakdown seemed simpler than facing the reality of my sin. Breakdown seemed simpler than facing the reality of my sin. But somehow, through my shrieking, agonizing tears Mercy grabbed hold on me. He whispered to me, and I begged for His help.
Hebrews 12:1 came to mind; no, it came to life for me. At that moment, through I can’t explain it entirely, I began to throw off “the sin that so easily entangled” me. I count it a miracle that I got out when I did.
I wish I could tell you that the struggle in my mind stopped then and there, but my battle raged on. Though God had enabled me to lay aside much of my sin (and the guilt of it), my mind still needed to be transformed.
As I began to grow in Christ, the reality of my sinfulness, which went beyond the mere act of sex, became painfully obvious. Thankfully, His forgiveness and grace became more incredibly real at the same time.
When Satan brings up my past (which happens frequently) God reminds me that I have been washed white as snow, that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, that I am precious to Him. I cling to these truths, but I have to tell you that some days it’s agonizingly hard.
Now twenty-four and dating the man who could very possible be my future husband, I thank God for freeing me. My current boyfriend is hands down the most accepting person I’ve met. Through he knows my past, he never makes me feel dirty or guilty. But he’s remained pure, and when I look at him, I fight feelings of shame like I never imagined possible.
My sin has been washed and cleaned; I live forgiven. Still, my mind—tainted and scarred—deals with the consequences of my actions. I’ve learned the hard way that it really does hurt when you have to tell the man you hope to marry that you’ve given yourself to someone else.
My relationship with Brady was really a two-year identity crisis. I temporarily validated myself with a “relationship,” with sex. I lost who I was in the pursuit of what being with Brady told me I was. Now I know that no sin, not even sin that makes me feel loved and an accepted for a brief time, is worth trading my identity in Christ for.
--in the book Every Thought Captive
Thursday, February 7, 2008
A Letter from Catlin...from book Every thought captive
Letter From Caitlin:
Growing up in a loving Christian home and at a Christian church, attending a Christian school, having Christian friends, and being spoon-fed the purity stuff my whole life, I never dreamed I’d be writing these three words prior to my wedding night: I had sex.
For years I had read the books, listened to the talks, drilled it into my mind deeply and forcefully: Whatever you do, don’t have sex before you’re married. To me, that was the worst sin a Christian could commit. But when I left high school and my life started spinning out of control, I began slowly chiseling away at what I thought of as my rock-solid virtue. In the span of a few months my parents went through a messy divorce; my mom left my father, taking my three sisters and me to live in Arkansas, where she started a whole new life; my boyfriend of a year left me—for a man. If everyone was going to betray me like this, I figured I could give myself room for a little modification of the “Christian rules,” too.
And then I met Brady—at church. “That was safe, right? After all, my motto had always been, “As long as the guy is a Christian, go for it.” So we started to spend time together. At the beginning of our relationship, being with Brady made all the heaviness of life seem lighter.
Though we met a church, I quickly discovered that Brady and I shared no spiritual bond. Our relationship was Christian only in name. And there was little emotional attraction—we disagreed and competed constantly. But my hurting, nineteen-year-old self, hungry for intimacy and love, did began to experience a intense sexual attraction to this man. My mind felt as if it were on fire.
Brady became my “first” of a lot of things I never thought I would do before I got married. At least it’s not sex, I rationalized. It could be worse. Slowly, I chiseled away at the rules.
On June 13, neither pressured nor intoxicated, I slept with Brady. I really wanted to have sex with him, so I did. Sounds simply for something that has made my life so incredibly convoluted.
I regretted it right away, but I convinced myself we were in love. I thought I would marry him. At least if I married him we’d be each other’s “only one.” Things wouldn’t be that bad. We’ would have made a mistake, but it was one that cod be redeemed by our everlasting commitment.
For a while, this justification pacified my guilt. Then we started planning our day around having sex. You sort of have to stop calling something a mistake when it happens over and over again, intentionally.
I loved being able to please Brady. If I fulfilled a desire of his, I felt valued. If I could offer him something he wanted, I felt needed. A relationship that I now realize should have lasted only a few months dragged on for two years. Two long, depressing, self-defeating years through which one thing kept us together—sex. This thought tethered me to Brady: I have to marry him; he has to be the only person I’ve been with.
Everyone else questioned my attachment to Brady. I suppose they could see it for the destructive force all the time. But he was always there. The comfort and security of having someone seemed better than the loneliness of being on my own.
Brady broke up with me on January 26. I thought my life had ended. Breakdown seemed simpler than facing the reality of my sin. Breakdown seemed simpler than facing the reality of my sin. But somehow, through my shrieking, agonizing tears Mercy grabbed hold on me. He whispered to me, and I begged for His help.
Hebrews 12:1 came to mind; no, it came to life for me. At that moment, through I can’t explain it entirely, I began to throw off “the sin that so easily entangled” me. I count it a miracle that I got out when I did.
I wish I could tell you that the struggle in my mind stopped then and there, but my battle raged on. Though God had enabled me to lay aside much of my sin (and the guilt of it), my mind still needed to be transformed.
As I began to grow in Christ, the reality of my sinfulness, which went beyond the mere act of sex, became painfully obvious. Thankfully, His forgiveness and grace became more incredibly real at the same time.
When Satan brings up my past (which happens frequently) God reminds me that I have been washed white as snow, that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, that I am precious to Him. I cling to these truths, but I have to tell you that some days it’s agonizingly hard.
Now twenty-four and dating the man who could very possible be my future husband, I thank God for freeing me. My current boyfriend is hands down the most accepting person I’ve met. Through he knows my past, he never makes me feel dirty or guilty. But he’s remained pure, and when I look at him, I fight feelings of shame like I never imagined possible.
My sin has been washed and cleaned; I live forgiven. Still, my mind—tainted and scarred—deals with the consequences of my actions. I’ve learned the hard way that it really does hurt when you have to tell the man you hope to marry that you’ve given yourself to someone else.
My relationship with Brady was really a two-year identity crisis. I temporarily validated myself with a “relationship,” with sex. I lost who I was in the pursuit of what being with Brady told me I was. Now I know that no sin, not even sin that makes me feel loved and an accepted for a brief time, is worth trading my identity in Christ for.
--in the book Every Thought Captive
Growing up in a loving Christian home and at a Christian church, attending a Christian school, having Christian friends, and being spoon-fed the purity stuff my whole life, I never dreamed I’d be writing these three words prior to my wedding night: I had sex.
For years I had read the books, listened to the talks, drilled it into my mind deeply and forcefully: Whatever you do, don’t have sex before you’re married. To me, that was the worst sin a Christian could commit. But when I left high school and my life started spinning out of control, I began slowly chiseling away at what I thought of as my rock-solid virtue. In the span of a few months my parents went through a messy divorce; my mom left my father, taking my three sisters and me to live in Arkansas, where she started a whole new life; my boyfriend of a year left me—for a man. If everyone was going to betray me like this, I figured I could give myself room for a little modification of the “Christian rules,” too.
And then I met Brady—at church. “That was safe, right? After all, my motto had always been, “As long as the guy is a Christian, go for it.” So we started to spend time together. At the beginning of our relationship, being with Brady made all the heaviness of life seem lighter.
Though we met a church, I quickly discovered that Brady and I shared no spiritual bond. Our relationship was Christian only in name. And there was little emotional attraction—we disagreed and competed constantly. But my hurting, nineteen-year-old self, hungry for intimacy and love, did began to experience a intense sexual attraction to this man. My mind felt as if it were on fire.
Brady became my “first” of a lot of things I never thought I would do before I got married. At least it’s not sex, I rationalized. It could be worse. Slowly, I chiseled away at the rules.
On June 13, neither pressured nor intoxicated, I slept with Brady. I really wanted to have sex with him, so I did. Sounds simply for something that has made my life so incredibly convoluted.
I regretted it right away, but I convinced myself we were in love. I thought I would marry him. At least if I married him we’d be each other’s “only one.” Things wouldn’t be that bad. We’ would have made a mistake, but it was one that cod be redeemed by our everlasting commitment.
For a while, this justification pacified my guilt. Then we started planning our day around having sex. You sort of have to stop calling something a mistake when it happens over and over again, intentionally.
I loved being able to please Brady. If I fulfilled a desire of his, I felt valued. If I could offer him something he wanted, I felt needed. A relationship that I now realize should have lasted only a few months dragged on for two years. Two long, depressing, self-defeating years through which one thing kept us together—sex. This thought tethered me to Brady: I have to marry him; he has to be the only person I’ve been with.
Everyone else questioned my attachment to Brady. I suppose they could see it for the destructive force all the time. But he was always there. The comfort and security of having someone seemed better than the loneliness of being on my own.
Brady broke up with me on January 26. I thought my life had ended. Breakdown seemed simpler than facing the reality of my sin. Breakdown seemed simpler than facing the reality of my sin. But somehow, through my shrieking, agonizing tears Mercy grabbed hold on me. He whispered to me, and I begged for His help.
Hebrews 12:1 came to mind; no, it came to life for me. At that moment, through I can’t explain it entirely, I began to throw off “the sin that so easily entangled” me. I count it a miracle that I got out when I did.
I wish I could tell you that the struggle in my mind stopped then and there, but my battle raged on. Though God had enabled me to lay aside much of my sin (and the guilt of it), my mind still needed to be transformed.
As I began to grow in Christ, the reality of my sinfulness, which went beyond the mere act of sex, became painfully obvious. Thankfully, His forgiveness and grace became more incredibly real at the same time.
When Satan brings up my past (which happens frequently) God reminds me that I have been washed white as snow, that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, that I am precious to Him. I cling to these truths, but I have to tell you that some days it’s agonizingly hard.
Now twenty-four and dating the man who could very possible be my future husband, I thank God for freeing me. My current boyfriend is hands down the most accepting person I’ve met. Through he knows my past, he never makes me feel dirty or guilty. But he’s remained pure, and when I look at him, I fight feelings of shame like I never imagined possible.
My sin has been washed and cleaned; I live forgiven. Still, my mind—tainted and scarred—deals with the consequences of my actions. I’ve learned the hard way that it really does hurt when you have to tell the man you hope to marry that you’ve given yourself to someone else.
My relationship with Brady was really a two-year identity crisis. I temporarily validated myself with a “relationship,” with sex. I lost who I was in the pursuit of what being with Brady told me I was. Now I know that no sin, not even sin that makes me feel loved and an accepted for a brief time, is worth trading my identity in Christ for.
--in the book Every Thought Captive
Marriage and Divorce
This is taken from my Divorce theology paper. Please read the entire document before posting. Also, this is not edited so please be nice :). Enjoy.
Divorce Is Not A Problem
Divorce is an extremely tough situation to be faced with. It is hard to imagine the pain and suffering that a couple must be going through when they get a divorced. If they have children then the trouble that is acquired is unbelievable. In my life I only know one couple that is not plagued by the disease of divorce. It seems to strike innocent happy couples. This is a story from the book “Kingdom Ethics�?, “ During my first year of teaching at Union University I encountered a deeply troubled young lady whose family history was a patchwork of marriage, divorce and cohabitation. In her short lifetime she had experienced five marriages on the part of her mother and four on the part of her father. She was a product of the original marriage, and it was clear that she had long ago been left behind in the affection of her parents. Indeed, that puts it far to nicely, for she also told of occasions of abuse at the hands of some of the many (supposed) grownups who moved in and out of her life during her childhood. By the time I met her she was profoundly damaged. It will be a very long road back to health.�? (Stassen and Gushee P. 272) What damaged is referred in the story above. It is the damaged that is done to someone’s purity of a relationship. This may be an extreme case but it may be more common than what is perceived. Where has America went wrong to make the divorce rate so high. Why is the rate among Christians just as high as the rest of society. Does God not hold His people to a higher level than the rest of society. Theses are the questions that this paper tries to address.
In the book called “An Open Book to the Christian Divorce�? the author, Dr. Roger Crook, explains that sometimes divorce is the best possible solution to a tragic situation. The first point he makes starts in Mathew 19:5 where is states, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder�?. From this scripture Dr Crook states. “Divorce is a violation of the ideal.�? (Crook P. 63) What is being attacked is the phrase ‘till death do us part’. This is only an ideal in which we aspire to live towards. We try with everything we have to make it work, but if we fail then we just could not meet the ideals that God has told us to meet. This tends to happen a lot in our walk with God. So, it is something that we mourn and repent over but we should not eliminate the idea of divorce.
When the heart of Dr. Crook’s argument is looked at it is easy to see the flaw in his argument. He is completely guilty of putting the foundational beliefs of Christianity at the ideal level. To state that “Divorce is a violation of the ideal,�? (Crook P. 63) is saying that marriage till death do us part is an ideal; something to strive for. This gives a way out of marriage. As Christians we continue to fall short of the glory of God in our everyday walk. With this in mind it gives a good option for a desperate couple to turn towards divorce. Christians must look at the “ideals�? of God to be the fundamentals, like the Ten Commandments. We should not look at divorce as an easy out; instead we should look at divorce as only an option under biblical grounds and then frown upon it.
In the next section Dr. Crook explains that Jesus spoke out against divorce because of the depravity that women were left in after a divorce. He explains that the culture of Jesus’ time was harsher to women than in today’s culture. Women were not able to support themselves independently. The women of the time first relied on the father and then on their husband for maintaining financial stability. In the time of Jesus, women did not own property or work outside of the house. Therefore, a divorce would leave the woman in a complete state of turmoil and the man would still be able to sustain a healthy life. So, Dr. Crook explains that in Jesus’ time divorce was not the best option out of a tragic situation. However, in today’s society women have more rights and have moved up to be socially and economically equal to men. With this realization Dr. Crook says that it is very possible to get a divorce and not be left in depravity. He goes on to state that in today’s society divorce can be the best a way out of a very tragic situation.
Women were more depraved during the time of Jesus and women can live on there own and rebuild there lives after a tragic divorce. It could be looked at as a good action that women cannot divorce so easily. If women can survive after divorce than it makes the possibility of a divorce more likely. However, the other side is that women cannot survive when divorce is biblically correct. If the situation is violent it is a tough and definitely the con to the society of Jesus’ time. However, it does force married couples to try to work things out like verbal conflicts. So, there is defiantly pros and cons to both society.
Dr. Crook goes through and names some circumstances that divorce was the best possible solution for a couple. He explains that in order for a divorce to be an option all other avenues must be explored. The first situation addressed would occur over an amount of time. When a couple became married they may have been right for each other. There attitudes could have worked very well together. However, over some length of time the attitudes begin to change and for what ever reason the two people do not get along very well. If the couple has explored all the options have been explored and the character conflicts still exist then divorce is completely okay within the Christian context. This could of occurred for several reasons. Dr. Crook outlined one reason when he said, “If there are deep and irreconcilable difference of culture or ideals or attitudes or values or life-styles, there can be no real union of two lives.�? (Crook P.66)
This view point rips at the heart of the problem of divorce. In America we take divorce to lightly. We get married to soon and not take it seriously. The evidence is all around with the divorce rate so high. The sad thing is that in the Christian church it is not any better. How is this witness to the world if the Christians cannot stay married? The issues above that Dr. Crook address needs to be fully worked out before the marriage. For the issues that come up through marriage the problem is that we see an easy way out and know that it a very a accessible possibility.
According to Dr. Crook another reason for divorce is mental cruelty. “One person can destroy another without leaving a mark on the body,�? (Crook P. 67) Dr. Crook explains. A good marriage is where a husband and wife support each other, but in a bad marriage a husband and wife can tear down each other verbally. The verbally cruelty can cut deeper than anything because of its subtleness. If a couple find them in this situation and have tried all other avenues then divorce is the best possible solution. Dr. Crook believes that it is always better when there are children involved to get a divorce instead of having them live in a broken home. This is the hardest circumstance within a marriage. It is the circumstance that is difficult to understand and will be further discussed later in the paper.
The next differentiating opinion is the book “The Challenge of the Disciplined Life�? written by Richard Foster. He explains that the issue of divorce was a highly debated issue during the time of Jesus as well as today. In Jesus’ time there were two main views on divorce. On page 141 Foster talks about the views. The first one he addresses is from Rabbi Hillel. Foster explains that Rabbi Hillel, “held that a man could divorce his wife for any reason.�? (Foster P. 141) This means that for any reason no matter what it is a man could divorce his wife. The other view was from Rabbi Shammai, who held the view that only marital unfaithfulness can be the cause for divorce. Foster goes on to explain that the Phrases tried to bring Jesus into the debate. Jesus refused to take a side but rather reestablish the purpose of marriage and what God intended in to be. God intended marriage to be permanent. The next scripture that is to be examined is, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce, and put her away?�? (Matt 19:7) Jesus responded to this question by stating, “For your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so�? (Matt 19:8). With this being said Foster makes the point that in this case as well as in many other cases Jesus is protecting the women. Foster says that the main reason for Moses allowing divorce is to protect women from men with harden hearts. Foster goes on to reason that Jesus protected the women of his time by standing against divorce for any reason.
What seems to be contradicting itself is the fact that in the time of Moses it was better for a woman to be separated from her husband because he has hard heart. However, in Jesus’ time it was better for a woman stay with her husband because she could not live outside of the marriage. The question is could women survive better in the time of Moses than in the time of Jesus. Why was it better for a women to stay with her husband? It was not better. Women would have been in a similar situation during the time of Moses and the time of Jesus. Also, did men not have hard hearts during the time of Jesus. What changed? These are constant questions that needs to be addressed in order to make this statement logically and biblical.
Foster explains that in the instances that Jesus did appear to side with the way of Rabbi Shammai Jesus meant something entirely different. On page 143 Foster explains this, “Jesus seems to lend support to the school of Shammai about adultery as grounds for divorce does not mean tat this is t be the one and only allowable basis every case.�? (Foster P. 143) Jesus was not trying to set rules or take sides but rather hit at the heart of human relationships. We are not to look at the reasons of divorce in a legalistic way but the way of developing human relationships.
This is, also, confusing in the standpoint that Jesus said that the only ground for divorce is adultery. Foster is trying to say that Jesus meant something else. The principle behind the rule is important to know and if that is understood correctly than there wouldn’t be an argument to get around what Jesus is saying. Jesus said in Matthew 19:9, “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.�? With this said there can be accurate grounds for divorce outside of adultery but remarriage or dating is never an option. This will be further discussed in this paper.
In Corinthian society during Paul’s time there was a major problem of marriage and divorce. Paul addresses the problem in his letters to Corinth. The exact problem that he addressed is that people in marriage were finding Christ but their spouse was not willing to except Christ. They were wondering if they were bond to the law that Jesus appeared to have set down in stone. Surprisingly, Paul seems to go against the teachings of Jesus when he says that it is ok to divorce. Paul says, “But is unbelieving partner desires to separate, let it be so; in such a case that brother and sister is not bound. For God has called us to peace.�? (1Cor. 7:15) This is not Paul going against the words of Jesus but understanding the central idea that Jesus was thinking of when He spoke on the grounds of divorce. Paul took the central idea and applies it to the situation. Christians should shy away from the legalistic trap that we often fall into. It is absurd to say that a woman that is faced with marital rape cannot acquire a divorce because there was no adultery. This is not showing the love as Christ shows His love. We need to look at the principle that the rule has been set on not being legalistic.
Do you not have to question what a marriage is and whether or not a true marriage can occur without God at the center? Do you not make a covenant with God on your wedding day? In the book “Kingdom Ethics�? Stassen and Gushee outline three main points about what a marriage is. The first point is, “Marriage is a male-female covenant partnership established by God for God’s purpose.�? (Stassen and Gushee P. 275) The next point is, “Marriage is the joyful companionship of male and female in a one-flesh union.�? (Stassen and Gushee P. 275) The final point is, “Marriage is a covenant relationship intended to be faithful and permanent.�? (Stassen and Gushee P. 276) With these three points in place can two people who do not follow God truly be married.
In the book titled “Kingdom Ethics�? written by Stassen & Gushee there are some interesting points made about divorce. Stassen and Gushee start off by saying that often times people ask the wrong questions. They say that the questions that are often asked are, “Under what circumstances is it morally permissible to get divorced or remarried? Is it permissible for a divorced person to serve as a minister? Should a minister participate in marrying someone who has been divorced?�? (Stassen and Gushee P. 273) Stassen and Gushee explain that these types of questions rip apart the moral fabric that we base everything on. If you look at the political system in America today it shows this same principle very well. Both the parties try to strive to be in the middle of the differentiating views. The do not hold on tight to there beliefs but stretch them to gain a vote. When we ask questions challenging the boundaries of our moral fabric then it tends to start to break down.
Stassen and Gushee, also, talk about the abuse of divorce in society. In Mark 10:9 Jesus talks about marriage in the respect of what it is meant to be. Marriage is never meant to be separate and Jesus says that man should not separate what God has joined together. As a society today we have taken advantage of an easy divorce. We have forgotten about the sanctity of marriage (union). We need to get back to the basics of Jesus’ teachings.
Stassen and Gushee examined the gospels in search of what Jesus said about divorce to try to better understand what is being taught. The first text the look at is Matthew. There are two main passages pointed out by Stassen and Gushee. The first is Matthew 5:32 which states, “But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.�? The other text is Matthew 19:9 which states, “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." The first part of these text, Matthew 5 explains that if you divorce your wife you make her commit adultery and if she marries someone else marries her he commits adultery also. Matthew 19 explains that if someone divorces than they commit adultery and if he or she remarries than he or she commits adultery also. Stassen and Gushee bring about a counter point that is often brought when explaining this text. A lot of people believe that societies views them as adulators, but they have not committed adultery. Stassen and Gushee explain that interpretation has to do more with the women powerless in Jewish legal context. A man can take her as a wife but she cannot have another husband. Everything is centered around the wife.
The next text that is explored is Mark. In Mark there is a new logic found. The new logic is that if a man divorces his wife and marries someone else than he commits adultery against her and if a women is divorced and remarries she commits adultery to her ex-husband. Stassen and Gushee go on to explain the unfortunately radical teachings of Jesus. He goes back to the basics of what God intended marriage to be and bases the rule of the principle not the principle off the rule as some would want to do. Stassen and Gushee say, “Either husband or wife can be faithful or faithless in marriage, and both are accountable for their behavior.�? (Stassen and Gushee P. 281)
The final text that is explored is Luke. The logic in Luke is, “If I divorce you and marry another women, I commit adultery; if someone marries you(my ex-wife), he commits adultery. This is support aspect of the other two gospels. If all these text are anylized to the fullest than the conclusion that must be reached is that marriage is suppose to last a lifetime. Stassen and Gushee says, “All these text share the conviction that marriage is a lifetime commitment. This is what is most important about them. All of them (texts) also draw some connection between common in first-century Jewish life, are somehow equated with adultery—a sin and surely they attracted the astonished attention of his original listeners!�? (Stassen and Gushee P. 281)
Now the questions of what my views are on marriage and divorce. First we have to determine what marriage is to God and how does God treat those to whom he is married to. One of my professors by the name of Dr. Stevens brought up an interesting point in world religions class. He talked about how the Bible is a book about weddings. He said that the first wedding was Adam and Eve and we know what happened. Then the next wedding was to Israel. God went into a similar marriage covenant with Israel. Israel treated God horribly committing adultery and continually turning their back on God. Yet, God sacrificed His son for the sake of the marriage. Now, we are in an engagement period with Jesus and when the time of revelations comes we will go join Jesus the churches husband. But, this does not answer the question what is the intent of marriage. I think Stassen and Gushee had it correct with their three points of marriage that I mentioned above. The first point is, “Marriage is a male-female covenant partnership established by God for God’s purpose.�? (Stassen and Gushee P. 275) The next point is, “Marriage is the joyful companionship of male and female in a one-flesh union.�? (Stassen and Gushee P. 275) The final point is, “Marriage is a covenant relationship intended to be faithful and permanent.�? (Stassen and Gushee P. 276)
So why is that people get divorced and above there as been a lot of different instances that have been addressed, but as you have heard it said that divorce is a problem I am here to tell you that divorce is not a problem, but only a symptom of a much more serious matter. Robert J. Plekker as the same viewpoint and he says, “Divorce is not the problem among Christians, not in America, not even within the Church. Even Jesus Christ never labeled divorce as the problem of so many marriages. Plekker goes on to agree with me in saying that the we tend to want to look at the symptoms and try to fix them instead of trying to solve the real problem. It is like when you have the flu and you take all this medication for you nose or a cough and that is not the problem. What you need to get better is something that attacks the problem an antibiotic.
So, what is the problem if divorce is only a symptom. Well, the problem is poor spiritual health. God says, “For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.�? (Galatians 5:17). We know that God never tells anyone to get divorced, He always sees Himself as the way out. If two people who are married are always after God’s heart and is committed to each other in the loving manor in which Jesus loves us then there would be no divorce. It is only when we stray away from Jesus and refuse to return that the option of divorce come into play.
So, what are the “grounds for divorce�?? I hate even talking about it because as I explained earlier it seems like we are trying to push the boundaries. But, is needs to be addressed. The scripture we will look at is the same that Stassen and Gushee looked at and for this reason it will not be as in-depth. The first scripture is in Matthew 5:32, which states, “But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.�? The Holman commentary of Matthew states, “Jesus hates divorce in every instance, but he permits it in extremely narrow circumstances. His will is always reconciliation except in the face of ongoing, unrepentant, adulterous destruction of the marriage covenant.�? (Weber P. 68) I like the fact that it says unrepentant. To me this exclaims that if a person is willing to repent than they ought to be forgiven of their sins. The commentary goes on to mention the fact that if you divorce your wife you make her commit adultery and if she marries someone else marries her he commits adultery also. The next scripture I would like to address is Matthew 19:9, “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." The Holman commentary explains that this scripture is very similar to that of 5:32. The only difference is that it is focused on the male not the female. The last scripture I would like to explore is Mark 10:11-12 it states, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery." The Homan commentary as a reference this passage raises the status of women by giving them some respect inside the relationship of a marriage. Also, Stassen and Gushee uses the reasoning that this shows a different light to the who commits adultery debate. If you remarry you are committing adultery unless under the grounds of marital unfaithfulness. This tells me that if you get a divorce other than for adultery than you are still married in God’s eyes or you would not commit adultery to them. The tough question is verbal and mental abuse and I would have to say that these situations need a lot of guidance from God. I would not stop someone from divorcing, but I would make it clear that he or she cannot remarry unless the remarry the person in which they divorce.
The topic of divorce has been discussed for thousands of years and this paper in no way tries to solve it, but tries to present several different views including my own. I feel that the solution to the symptom of divorce is spiritual formation in whatever matter that might take, whether it is counseling or a lot of praying. It saddens me that the divorce rate is on the rise and that the Christian church is not setting any kind of example. Only by God’s true grace can two people live a entire life together and stay happy. I hope that you do not find the answer in this paper but it challenges you to do far more research, because a 200 page paper could not tell the answer to the solution to divorce.
Divorce Is Not A Problem
Divorce is an extremely tough situation to be faced with. It is hard to imagine the pain and suffering that a couple must be going through when they get a divorced. If they have children then the trouble that is acquired is unbelievable. In my life I only know one couple that is not plagued by the disease of divorce. It seems to strike innocent happy couples. This is a story from the book “Kingdom Ethics�?, “ During my first year of teaching at Union University I encountered a deeply troubled young lady whose family history was a patchwork of marriage, divorce and cohabitation. In her short lifetime she had experienced five marriages on the part of her mother and four on the part of her father. She was a product of the original marriage, and it was clear that she had long ago been left behind in the affection of her parents. Indeed, that puts it far to nicely, for she also told of occasions of abuse at the hands of some of the many (supposed) grownups who moved in and out of her life during her childhood. By the time I met her she was profoundly damaged. It will be a very long road back to health.�? (Stassen and Gushee P. 272) What damaged is referred in the story above. It is the damaged that is done to someone’s purity of a relationship. This may be an extreme case but it may be more common than what is perceived. Where has America went wrong to make the divorce rate so high. Why is the rate among Christians just as high as the rest of society. Does God not hold His people to a higher level than the rest of society. Theses are the questions that this paper tries to address.
In the book called “An Open Book to the Christian Divorce�? the author, Dr. Roger Crook, explains that sometimes divorce is the best possible solution to a tragic situation. The first point he makes starts in Mathew 19:5 where is states, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder�?. From this scripture Dr Crook states. “Divorce is a violation of the ideal.�? (Crook P. 63) What is being attacked is the phrase ‘till death do us part’. This is only an ideal in which we aspire to live towards. We try with everything we have to make it work, but if we fail then we just could not meet the ideals that God has told us to meet. This tends to happen a lot in our walk with God. So, it is something that we mourn and repent over but we should not eliminate the idea of divorce.
When the heart of Dr. Crook’s argument is looked at it is easy to see the flaw in his argument. He is completely guilty of putting the foundational beliefs of Christianity at the ideal level. To state that “Divorce is a violation of the ideal,�? (Crook P. 63) is saying that marriage till death do us part is an ideal; something to strive for. This gives a way out of marriage. As Christians we continue to fall short of the glory of God in our everyday walk. With this in mind it gives a good option for a desperate couple to turn towards divorce. Christians must look at the “ideals�? of God to be the fundamentals, like the Ten Commandments. We should not look at divorce as an easy out; instead we should look at divorce as only an option under biblical grounds and then frown upon it.
In the next section Dr. Crook explains that Jesus spoke out against divorce because of the depravity that women were left in after a divorce. He explains that the culture of Jesus’ time was harsher to women than in today’s culture. Women were not able to support themselves independently. The women of the time first relied on the father and then on their husband for maintaining financial stability. In the time of Jesus, women did not own property or work outside of the house. Therefore, a divorce would leave the woman in a complete state of turmoil and the man would still be able to sustain a healthy life. So, Dr. Crook explains that in Jesus’ time divorce was not the best option out of a tragic situation. However, in today’s society women have more rights and have moved up to be socially and economically equal to men. With this realization Dr. Crook says that it is very possible to get a divorce and not be left in depravity. He goes on to state that in today’s society divorce can be the best a way out of a very tragic situation.
Women were more depraved during the time of Jesus and women can live on there own and rebuild there lives after a tragic divorce. It could be looked at as a good action that women cannot divorce so easily. If women can survive after divorce than it makes the possibility of a divorce more likely. However, the other side is that women cannot survive when divorce is biblically correct. If the situation is violent it is a tough and definitely the con to the society of Jesus’ time. However, it does force married couples to try to work things out like verbal conflicts. So, there is defiantly pros and cons to both society.
Dr. Crook goes through and names some circumstances that divorce was the best possible solution for a couple. He explains that in order for a divorce to be an option all other avenues must be explored. The first situation addressed would occur over an amount of time. When a couple became married they may have been right for each other. There attitudes could have worked very well together. However, over some length of time the attitudes begin to change and for what ever reason the two people do not get along very well. If the couple has explored all the options have been explored and the character conflicts still exist then divorce is completely okay within the Christian context. This could of occurred for several reasons. Dr. Crook outlined one reason when he said, “If there are deep and irreconcilable difference of culture or ideals or attitudes or values or life-styles, there can be no real union of two lives.�? (Crook P.66)
This view point rips at the heart of the problem of divorce. In America we take divorce to lightly. We get married to soon and not take it seriously. The evidence is all around with the divorce rate so high. The sad thing is that in the Christian church it is not any better. How is this witness to the world if the Christians cannot stay married? The issues above that Dr. Crook address needs to be fully worked out before the marriage. For the issues that come up through marriage the problem is that we see an easy way out and know that it a very a accessible possibility.
According to Dr. Crook another reason for divorce is mental cruelty. “One person can destroy another without leaving a mark on the body,�? (Crook P. 67) Dr. Crook explains. A good marriage is where a husband and wife support each other, but in a bad marriage a husband and wife can tear down each other verbally. The verbally cruelty can cut deeper than anything because of its subtleness. If a couple find them in this situation and have tried all other avenues then divorce is the best possible solution. Dr. Crook believes that it is always better when there are children involved to get a divorce instead of having them live in a broken home. This is the hardest circumstance within a marriage. It is the circumstance that is difficult to understand and will be further discussed later in the paper.
The next differentiating opinion is the book “The Challenge of the Disciplined Life�? written by Richard Foster. He explains that the issue of divorce was a highly debated issue during the time of Jesus as well as today. In Jesus’ time there were two main views on divorce. On page 141 Foster talks about the views. The first one he addresses is from Rabbi Hillel. Foster explains that Rabbi Hillel, “held that a man could divorce his wife for any reason.�? (Foster P. 141) This means that for any reason no matter what it is a man could divorce his wife. The other view was from Rabbi Shammai, who held the view that only marital unfaithfulness can be the cause for divorce. Foster goes on to explain that the Phrases tried to bring Jesus into the debate. Jesus refused to take a side but rather reestablish the purpose of marriage and what God intended in to be. God intended marriage to be permanent. The next scripture that is to be examined is, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce, and put her away?�? (Matt 19:7) Jesus responded to this question by stating, “For your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so�? (Matt 19:8). With this being said Foster makes the point that in this case as well as in many other cases Jesus is protecting the women. Foster says that the main reason for Moses allowing divorce is to protect women from men with harden hearts. Foster goes on to reason that Jesus protected the women of his time by standing against divorce for any reason.
What seems to be contradicting itself is the fact that in the time of Moses it was better for a woman to be separated from her husband because he has hard heart. However, in Jesus’ time it was better for a woman stay with her husband because she could not live outside of the marriage. The question is could women survive better in the time of Moses than in the time of Jesus. Why was it better for a women to stay with her husband? It was not better. Women would have been in a similar situation during the time of Moses and the time of Jesus. Also, did men not have hard hearts during the time of Jesus. What changed? These are constant questions that needs to be addressed in order to make this statement logically and biblical.
Foster explains that in the instances that Jesus did appear to side with the way of Rabbi Shammai Jesus meant something entirely different. On page 143 Foster explains this, “Jesus seems to lend support to the school of Shammai about adultery as grounds for divorce does not mean tat this is t be the one and only allowable basis every case.�? (Foster P. 143) Jesus was not trying to set rules or take sides but rather hit at the heart of human relationships. We are not to look at the reasons of divorce in a legalistic way but the way of developing human relationships.
This is, also, confusing in the standpoint that Jesus said that the only ground for divorce is adultery. Foster is trying to say that Jesus meant something else. The principle behind the rule is important to know and if that is understood correctly than there wouldn’t be an argument to get around what Jesus is saying. Jesus said in Matthew 19:9, “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.�? With this said there can be accurate grounds for divorce outside of adultery but remarriage or dating is never an option. This will be further discussed in this paper.
In Corinthian society during Paul’s time there was a major problem of marriage and divorce. Paul addresses the problem in his letters to Corinth. The exact problem that he addressed is that people in marriage were finding Christ but their spouse was not willing to except Christ. They were wondering if they were bond to the law that Jesus appeared to have set down in stone. Surprisingly, Paul seems to go against the teachings of Jesus when he says that it is ok to divorce. Paul says, “But is unbelieving partner desires to separate, let it be so; in such a case that brother and sister is not bound. For God has called us to peace.�? (1Cor. 7:15) This is not Paul going against the words of Jesus but understanding the central idea that Jesus was thinking of when He spoke on the grounds of divorce. Paul took the central idea and applies it to the situation. Christians should shy away from the legalistic trap that we often fall into. It is absurd to say that a woman that is faced with marital rape cannot acquire a divorce because there was no adultery. This is not showing the love as Christ shows His love. We need to look at the principle that the rule has been set on not being legalistic.
Do you not have to question what a marriage is and whether or not a true marriage can occur without God at the center? Do you not make a covenant with God on your wedding day? In the book “Kingdom Ethics�? Stassen and Gushee outline three main points about what a marriage is. The first point is, “Marriage is a male-female covenant partnership established by God for God’s purpose.�? (Stassen and Gushee P. 275) The next point is, “Marriage is the joyful companionship of male and female in a one-flesh union.�? (Stassen and Gushee P. 275) The final point is, “Marriage is a covenant relationship intended to be faithful and permanent.�? (Stassen and Gushee P. 276) With these three points in place can two people who do not follow God truly be married.
In the book titled “Kingdom Ethics�? written by Stassen & Gushee there are some interesting points made about divorce. Stassen and Gushee start off by saying that often times people ask the wrong questions. They say that the questions that are often asked are, “Under what circumstances is it morally permissible to get divorced or remarried? Is it permissible for a divorced person to serve as a minister? Should a minister participate in marrying someone who has been divorced?�? (Stassen and Gushee P. 273) Stassen and Gushee explain that these types of questions rip apart the moral fabric that we base everything on. If you look at the political system in America today it shows this same principle very well. Both the parties try to strive to be in the middle of the differentiating views. The do not hold on tight to there beliefs but stretch them to gain a vote. When we ask questions challenging the boundaries of our moral fabric then it tends to start to break down.
Stassen and Gushee, also, talk about the abuse of divorce in society. In Mark 10:9 Jesus talks about marriage in the respect of what it is meant to be. Marriage is never meant to be separate and Jesus says that man should not separate what God has joined together. As a society today we have taken advantage of an easy divorce. We have forgotten about the sanctity of marriage (union). We need to get back to the basics of Jesus’ teachings.
Stassen and Gushee examined the gospels in search of what Jesus said about divorce to try to better understand what is being taught. The first text the look at is Matthew. There are two main passages pointed out by Stassen and Gushee. The first is Matthew 5:32 which states, “But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.�? The other text is Matthew 19:9 which states, “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." The first part of these text, Matthew 5 explains that if you divorce your wife you make her commit adultery and if she marries someone else marries her he commits adultery also. Matthew 19 explains that if someone divorces than they commit adultery and if he or she remarries than he or she commits adultery also. Stassen and Gushee bring about a counter point that is often brought when explaining this text. A lot of people believe that societies views them as adulators, but they have not committed adultery. Stassen and Gushee explain that interpretation has to do more with the women powerless in Jewish legal context. A man can take her as a wife but she cannot have another husband. Everything is centered around the wife.
The next text that is explored is Mark. In Mark there is a new logic found. The new logic is that if a man divorces his wife and marries someone else than he commits adultery against her and if a women is divorced and remarries she commits adultery to her ex-husband. Stassen and Gushee go on to explain the unfortunately radical teachings of Jesus. He goes back to the basics of what God intended marriage to be and bases the rule of the principle not the principle off the rule as some would want to do. Stassen and Gushee say, “Either husband or wife can be faithful or faithless in marriage, and both are accountable for their behavior.�? (Stassen and Gushee P. 281)
The final text that is explored is Luke. The logic in Luke is, “If I divorce you and marry another women, I commit adultery; if someone marries you(my ex-wife), he commits adultery. This is support aspect of the other two gospels. If all these text are anylized to the fullest than the conclusion that must be reached is that marriage is suppose to last a lifetime. Stassen and Gushee says, “All these text share the conviction that marriage is a lifetime commitment. This is what is most important about them. All of them (texts) also draw some connection between common in first-century Jewish life, are somehow equated with adultery—a sin and surely they attracted the astonished attention of his original listeners!�? (Stassen and Gushee P. 281)
Now the questions of what my views are on marriage and divorce. First we have to determine what marriage is to God and how does God treat those to whom he is married to. One of my professors by the name of Dr. Stevens brought up an interesting point in world religions class. He talked about how the Bible is a book about weddings. He said that the first wedding was Adam and Eve and we know what happened. Then the next wedding was to Israel. God went into a similar marriage covenant with Israel. Israel treated God horribly committing adultery and continually turning their back on God. Yet, God sacrificed His son for the sake of the marriage. Now, we are in an engagement period with Jesus and when the time of revelations comes we will go join Jesus the churches husband. But, this does not answer the question what is the intent of marriage. I think Stassen and Gushee had it correct with their three points of marriage that I mentioned above. The first point is, “Marriage is a male-female covenant partnership established by God for God’s purpose.�? (Stassen and Gushee P. 275) The next point is, “Marriage is the joyful companionship of male and female in a one-flesh union.�? (Stassen and Gushee P. 275) The final point is, “Marriage is a covenant relationship intended to be faithful and permanent.�? (Stassen and Gushee P. 276)
So why is that people get divorced and above there as been a lot of different instances that have been addressed, but as you have heard it said that divorce is a problem I am here to tell you that divorce is not a problem, but only a symptom of a much more serious matter. Robert J. Plekker as the same viewpoint and he says, “Divorce is not the problem among Christians, not in America, not even within the Church. Even Jesus Christ never labeled divorce as the problem of so many marriages. Plekker goes on to agree with me in saying that the we tend to want to look at the symptoms and try to fix them instead of trying to solve the real problem. It is like when you have the flu and you take all this medication for you nose or a cough and that is not the problem. What you need to get better is something that attacks the problem an antibiotic.
So, what is the problem if divorce is only a symptom. Well, the problem is poor spiritual health. God says, “For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.�? (Galatians 5:17). We know that God never tells anyone to get divorced, He always sees Himself as the way out. If two people who are married are always after God’s heart and is committed to each other in the loving manor in which Jesus loves us then there would be no divorce. It is only when we stray away from Jesus and refuse to return that the option of divorce come into play.
So, what are the “grounds for divorce�?? I hate even talking about it because as I explained earlier it seems like we are trying to push the boundaries. But, is needs to be addressed. The scripture we will look at is the same that Stassen and Gushee looked at and for this reason it will not be as in-depth. The first scripture is in Matthew 5:32, which states, “But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.�? The Holman commentary of Matthew states, “Jesus hates divorce in every instance, but he permits it in extremely narrow circumstances. His will is always reconciliation except in the face of ongoing, unrepentant, adulterous destruction of the marriage covenant.�? (Weber P. 68) I like the fact that it says unrepentant. To me this exclaims that if a person is willing to repent than they ought to be forgiven of their sins. The commentary goes on to mention the fact that if you divorce your wife you make her commit adultery and if she marries someone else marries her he commits adultery also. The next scripture I would like to address is Matthew 19:9, “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." The Holman commentary explains that this scripture is very similar to that of 5:32. The only difference is that it is focused on the male not the female. The last scripture I would like to explore is Mark 10:11-12 it states, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery." The Homan commentary as a reference this passage raises the status of women by giving them some respect inside the relationship of a marriage. Also, Stassen and Gushee uses the reasoning that this shows a different light to the who commits adultery debate. If you remarry you are committing adultery unless under the grounds of marital unfaithfulness. This tells me that if you get a divorce other than for adultery than you are still married in God’s eyes or you would not commit adultery to them. The tough question is verbal and mental abuse and I would have to say that these situations need a lot of guidance from God. I would not stop someone from divorcing, but I would make it clear that he or she cannot remarry unless the remarry the person in which they divorce.
The topic of divorce has been discussed for thousands of years and this paper in no way tries to solve it, but tries to present several different views including my own. I feel that the solution to the symptom of divorce is spiritual formation in whatever matter that might take, whether it is counseling or a lot of praying. It saddens me that the divorce rate is on the rise and that the Christian church is not setting any kind of example. Only by God’s true grace can two people live a entire life together and stay happy. I hope that you do not find the answer in this paper but it challenges you to do far more research, because a 200 page paper could not tell the answer to the solution to divorce.
War and Peace
This has been something that God is helping me understand what it means to not be a pacifist as the world defines it and to not be for a just war. All throughout Jesus' life he shows again and again that there is a better way then war. I am not condemning war but simply saying that there is a way that is more effective than war. I believe that war will never solve anything. It might appear to for a short period of time but then we turn the cycle and we end up in war again. Jesus' life was an example of how to react against violence. "You have heard that it was said, Eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth. But I tell you do not resist an evil person." Matt 38-39 At first glance you could take this in a couple different ways. You could believe that this is perfect grounds for war or attacking back, but that is not logical because Jesus says not an eye for an eye. Also, you could take this as complete and utter pacifism and I claim that you have an skewed view of what this means. Do not resist an evil person actually refers to do not resist evil with evil. It is not saying inaction is the best course it is saying that evil is not the right course. In Philippians it says "Do everything without complaining or arguing , so that you may be blameless and pure children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life...." Romans says "Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary:
If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink;
In doing this, you will heap BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD.
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12
I challenge you to true to rationalize these versus into a just war theory. These verses are at the heart of what it means to be a follower of Jesus. We are called to be pure innocent people. We are not called to take sides or pass judgment on the world. That is God's job and he is a lot better at it then us. This isn't completely about war more importantly it is about our everyday lives. Learn to live without hate or anger. Learn to be forgiving and ask for forgiveness. Learn to attack evil with good and believe that it will work. Only when you have done this then can we fight the bigger issues such as war. It saddens me to the see that the only people who give the church a second thought is the Christians. The pagan culture around us doesn't even care about us. We are what is called a Post-Christian Era. Don't be sadden by this. This is how the world was when the biggest growth in the church occurred. I could go on but I do not need to what is said is sufficient.
If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink;
In doing this, you will heap BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD.
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12
I challenge you to true to rationalize these versus into a just war theory. These verses are at the heart of what it means to be a follower of Jesus. We are called to be pure innocent people. We are not called to take sides or pass judgment on the world. That is God's job and he is a lot better at it then us. This isn't completely about war more importantly it is about our everyday lives. Learn to live without hate or anger. Learn to be forgiving and ask for forgiveness. Learn to attack evil with good and believe that it will work. Only when you have done this then can we fight the bigger issues such as war. It saddens me to the see that the only people who give the church a second thought is the Christians. The pagan culture around us doesn't even care about us. We are what is called a Post-Christian Era. Don't be sadden by this. This is how the world was when the biggest growth in the church occurred. I could go on but I do not need to what is said is sufficient.
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